Psychologist's New Book Offers Tools for Performance Anxiety, Including Flushing Mistakes Away

Kamphoff holds a PhD in sport and performance psychology. Her own test came in 2012, during a marathon, when self-doubt set in at Mile 22 and she told herself, "This is dumb. Why am I doing this?" She had written phrases on her arm — "I'm strong, I'm fast, I'm fit, I'm ready" — and read them when she needed a lift. Her pace picked up, and she went on to win her division, running her last four miles faster than any other stretch of the race.

The book lays out four techniques. The first, which Kamphoff calls "learn, burn, return," is designed for mistakes made in high-stakes moments. A person asks what the error taught them, using the prompt "Next time, I will ___" — the "learn" step — then uses a physical cue to signal that the moment is over: a finger snap, the phrase "that fast" or the mimed toilet flush. The "return" step is rebuilding, by telling yourself "you got this, you're doing the best that you can," Kamphoff said.

She taught the flushing gesture to former Vikings wide receiver Adam Thielen, who used it after a fumble during a 2020 playoff game and then caught a 43-yard pass over his head that helped Minnesota win. Repeating the same motion or phrase each time helps the brain strengthen new neural pathways for moving through anxiety, she said.

The second tool concerns self-talk. Kamphoff recommends a "power phrase" beginning with "I will," "I can" or "I am," built from questions such as "How am I at my best?" According to the American Psychological Association, self-affirmations, even in small doses, can have lasting effects on self-esteem. Kamphoff said repeating such phrases during her marathon gave her brain evidence that she could succeed.

Third, rather than fixating on a single ideal result, she suggests setting gold, silver and bronze goals. For a track miler, a bronze goal might be a time the runner is generally happy with, a silver goal a personal best and a gold goal a win. Spreading the target across a range reduces pressure and shifts attention to the present moment, she said, because "an outcome is something you can't control."

Fourth, when negative thoughts arrive before a job interview or a test, she advises checking them against three questions: Is that thought true? Is it serving you? What would be a more empowering statement? The approach resembles acceptance commitment therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy, and can interrupt a thought such as "If I don't ace this, I'll never get another job" and replace it with a grounded alternative. Confidence, she said, is a choice.