Researcher Recommends Three Habits to Maintain Friendships and Improve Well-Being

Ayers said the effort to maintain friendships can benefit the person making it, not only the friend receiving it. According to CNBC, she said staying in touch with friends can improve well-being, lower levels of depression and loneliness, decrease anxiety and even increase the chances of survival after major surgery. She said the benefits are mutual, especially in long-lasting and sustained relationships. CNBC also cited an ongoing 88-year Harvard University happiness study that found a high degree of social fitness contributes to a longer, healthier and more fulfilled life. The article said friendships can help people succeed.

The article noted high levels of loneliness in the United States. An American Psychiatric Association poll published May 12 found that many people turn to tech devices instead of each other, CNBC reported. A 2023 Pew Research Center survey of about 5,000 U.S. adults found that 8% of Americans report having zero close friends, according to the article. Some businesses now offer summer camps for adults or friendship coaches that can cost thousands of dollars, CNBC reported. Ayers said friendships can grow apart for reasons including moving to a different state for a new job, being in different stages of life, or trying to keep up on social media and forgetting to keep in touch outside smartphones.

The CNBC article's first-person account described an extensive routine for staying connected: multiple one-on-one hangouts each month with a rotating group of friends, calendar time for birthday celebrations and five or more group chats with friends and family. The writer said she grew up with five siblings in a household where showing up for each other was non-negotiable. When a friend crosses her mind, she reaches out. She hosts small get-togethers, including an October 2025 party themed around the movie Coraline, and travels to visit friends in different states at least once a year, or plans vacations with them. Ayers told CNBC she approved of those practices, and that sending a quick note because a friend briefly crossed your mind is a brilliant practice and the best thing you can do.

Ayers recommended reaching out to friends, though not necessarily very frequently. She said people should let friends know they are valued; when a friend comes to mind, send a text such as Hey, thinking of you. She also recommended prioritizing relationships built on intrinsic qualities over external ones. Friendships based on shared values such as loyalty and honesty are often much more meaningful than connections built on more superficial qualities, she said. In each friendship, she said, bring something to the table and expend a reasonable amount of time, resources and energy to show up, even if sometimes you would rather stay home. She said being the friend you would want others to be is important, and remembering that you are a valued person in this relationship is important.

Ayers and her best friend live in different states, Idaho and California, respectively, and send each other voice memos throughout the week, from quick check-ins to 15-minute breakdowns of an important update, according to CNBC. She said people should take conversations offline whenever they can, especially with friends who live nearby. Even in group chats, she suggested writing something like Hey, I'm going to come see you in person, and We should go to this coffee shop and just hang out, instead of relying solely on technology to mediate. She also suggested inviting friends into regular schedules without finding extra time, such as asking a friend to tag along while running errands or doing another low-pressure activity. She invites her friends to her children's sporting events, CNBC reported.

Editor's Summary

A Boise State University researcher told CNBC that maintaining friendships can improve well-being and lower loneliness, and she recommended three habits: reaching out, prioritizing intrinsic qualities, and investing time and energy. The article also cited U.S. loneliness data and a long-running Harvard happiness study. It described one CNBC writer's own practices as an example of how consistent contact can be maintained.